


Don't let me fall apart

by AvaDiablo



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Figuring out where you stand, Fist time falling for a guy, Insecurity, Kissing, M/M, friendships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-19 10:09:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10637694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaDiablo/pseuds/AvaDiablo
Summary: Every time they meet, Ohno kisses Jun - forcefully. And Jun can't figure out why he does. They hardly even know each other...





	1. Liar

“I love you.”  
The low voice, the warm tone, in which the words were spoken traveled in luscious sentiment from his ears through his body; they triggered a heat he hadn’t felt before. Well, that wasn’t true. He had felt it before. Five times before now. 

Jun stood with his back against the wall. Ohno’s breath hot on his lips. His eyes nearly closed, while Jun’s stayed open in embarrassed shock that he couldn’t get rid off, even after being in this situation five times before. He looked away from those eyes, the fluster deepening on his cheeks. This was so wrong. And yet, he longed for those words. His heart pounded so heavily when they were spoken; pounded so frantically every time he found himself near his neighbour. 

“Jun.”   
God, the sound of his name, on those lips was enticing. The feel of their foreheads resting against each other - well, his was trapped between Ohno’s and the wall, but who was counting? Ohno had yet to kiss him and he was waiting. His fingertips caressed his cheeks, just barely, sending the flutter of haywire emotion into a frenzy. The smell of his cologne - that was so Ohno - would always remind him of these moments. It was just a hint, but…

Jun wanted to give in, for reasons he didn’t control. He didn’t know the why or the how, he just wanted too. But as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t. He couldn’t let this happen. They were guys after all. But Ohno didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with situation, at all. He held him there, using his body to keep Jun from fleeing, pressed against the wall of the genkan - again. And all he did was bring over an parcel that was delivered by the mailman. The same one that now lay on the floor, seemingly forgotten. 

Heat coursed through his body as he was fully aware that this would happen when he brought it over. Two times before, Ohno had pulled Jun in by his wrist, and cornered him against the same wall. Embarrassing, because he wanted it. Embarrassing because he couldn’t admit he wanted this. His body was easily swayed, his mind wasn’t.  
He felt Ohno leaning in, knowing that this was point where their lips would touch, the point where he would ask access to his mouth, the point that Jun wanted and hate. It was always the point where he would raise his hand and slam it against Ohno’s face.

His wrist was effortlessly intercepted before if even came to that. Ohno caught it, slamming it into the wall and covered his mouth with his. The fingertips still against his cheek, but thumb on the other side of his chin, keeping his head in place.  
Tears began to form. Jun didn’t know why. He just held his lips together, feeling how Ohno wetted them with his tongue. So soft and slow. Goosebumps ran up and down his arms, his back and legs. And Ohno broke their -rather one side - kiss.

“Open your mouth.”  
Jun had his eyes closed, eyelids pressed together, as he once again looked away in embarrassment. Why did his voice affect him so much? Ohno rested his head against his again. Maybe their kiss was broken, but not the physical contact. Heat radiated between them. From the touch of his fingers in his wrists, to his body leaning against his. Surely the wall was soaked in his sweat by now. Cold sweat of fear, sweat of undeniable lust. He was curious, feeling flustered with every tiny part of his body. He was succumbing, just like last time and the time before that. All Ohno needed to do right now was... 

“Jun. Please.”  
There. There is was. His name, followed by a plea. Irresistible as it nearly sounded like a moan. Spoken so softly, it was only audible being this close to him. A new surge of passion or lust sought its way inside, kindling something in the core of him that should not be awakened; that part of him that was hopeful, that longed to be loved. That part of him that spelled out his demise if he gave in. He didn’t want to be depending on Ohno.  
 _But you already are._

In the same breath as the words spoken, Ohno covered his mouth with his again. And Jun willingly let his tongue slip between his lips. He hid his own, kept it out of the way as much as he could as Ohno explored the inside of his mouth. Jun could talk a great deal; he had to - arguing was his job as an editor. He needed people to adhere to the timelines and deadlines that were given. He needed to see that copies went to the printers in time for the magazine to appear. But there wasn’t much space inside his mouth to hide. 

It didn’t take more than two seconds for their tongues to touch, just briefly, just a stroke; velvety, wet, but sweet tasting. Jun’s grip on Ohno’s shoulder tightened; he didn’t even know that’s where his hand had found its way to. He tried pushing. Ohno just leaned in more, making him feel more crowded, with no chance to back away and the only option was more or less to give in. 

The second sweep against his had him gripping Ohno clothes, while he stood with his eyes still shut tight, tense all over. This was so wrong.  
 _But it felt good._  
It was against his will, he argued. The kiss deepened. And Jun no longer resisted. He relaxed into it. There was no avoiding it. Their tongues danced around each other, the heat build between them. Every fiber that was giving up the resistance shot joy through his system that gathered in the pit of his stomach, sending waves of pleasure to that one central part of his body that was the most sensitive to stimulation. 

Ohno tasted good. It was embarrassing to admit. The whole situation was pushing him on. But the scent, the taste of him… It was drowning Jun in an overload of lust. Ohno let his hand slide up from his wrist, lacing their fingers together. Even that small gesture had Jun stand on edge again, but a different kind of edge. An edge of want. Pure want; longing, desire. 

Desire.   
_No!_  
He pushed, putting all his might into it, catching Ohno by surprise as he let go. Jun fled from his house into his own. His heart was pounding, painfully hard, as he tripped and fell to the floor in his genkan. He heard the knock on the door and froze into place.  
“Jun!” 

The sound of his voice. The cringe of his heart.   
_He has a key…_  
Jun scrambled to his feet, putting the bolts in place, realising too late Ohno could hear them lock as he knocked on the door again. The was a silence. A painful one. Then the sound of his neighbour’s door opening and closing. Jun didn’t know how to react to that. Ohno had given up, which was good. But it hurt that he didn’t put up more of a fight.  
 _I don’t want him too._  
Liar.


	2. Tug of war

His heart didn’t slow down. The tears that had lingered finally fell. But not from the embarrassment Ohno seemed to want to put him through. They fell from the loneliness without him. This tug of war was exhausting. Body vs mind. Jun needed to make up his. His breath still came hasty, his body still reacted. The scent of him was imprinted on his senses. The taste still lingered on his tongue. His touch still burned on his skin. 

It was silly. Beyond ridiculous even. Because in the end they didn’t even know each other. Jun didn’t even know what his neighbour did for a living, or how he’d spend his free time. They didn’t know anything about each other. They hadn’t even spoken to each other until last month. And now every time they did see each other, Jun ended up like he was now - a little worse after each time. And he didn’t even got to hear him say ‘touch me’. But he remembered Ohno’s voice. And he could picture it clearly in his mind.

He went over to Ohno’s with the parcel after work. Now, with all the emotion and a full day of work, his body was protesting his every move as he slowly made his way from the genkan to his living room. He got undressed in his bedroom, throwing his shirt on the bed, his pants and jacket in the wash bin. He decided to just wash up, and felt sorry for brushing his teeth. He’d lose the taste of Ohno, but not brushing wasn’t really an option. Normally he’d take a quick shower just before bedtime, but as he faced himself in the mirror he couldn’t bare to also lose the scent of Ohno lingering on him. He sighed, not able to stare at himself any longer. 

He was a coward. He couldn’t deny that Ohno possessed something that attracted Jun to him. But he didn’t want to give in. He couldn’t. And not just because they were guys. Jun sighed. His heart felt heavy, more than it did a few minutes ago. He didn’t want to go through that again. He didn’t want to fall apart. He didn’t see the tears until they dripped on the edge of the sink as he stared down. He forced himself to look up again. Watching himself cry was hard. Who was he even kidding? He was already falling apart. And they weren’t even together; they were nothing, meant nothing to each other. Ohno could be an axe-murderer for all he knew. 

He tried to laugh as he wiped away the tears with the back of his hand, spilling toothpaste. And still… He looked away again, watched as the toothpaste bubble disappeared down the drain. He didn’t miss her. Not as much as he would have without him. What had even happened? Jun washed his face, getting rid of the tears. Shiori-chan had dumped him. After nearly ten years of being together, she had had finally enough of the fact that he was hardly ever home. That his job would always come first. They had talked about it - of course they had - but he didn’t see that decision coming after all the time. And when she had told him, he had shrugged, told her he was running late and they’d have to talk about it that night.  
She had replied that she’d be gone by the time he got back if he was actually going. And still he went. And so did she. It was that second day when he had met his neighbour. He’d moved in recently, but they hadn’t been properly acquainted yet. Jun couldn’t bare the emptiness in his apartment, on top of that he had locked himself out. He’d been heartbrokenly crying at the misery that had become his life. He was losing grip. 

Ohno had taken him inside and had called the locksmith for him. But that person wasn’t coming until the morning. Jun knew they had been drinking and he had been obviously drunk to forget what was going on. He barely remembered anything from that night, just a month ago. After that, Ohno’d been kissing him. And Jun couldn’t figure out why.

Dressed in pyjama slacks he retreated to bed; taking the discarded shirt as he snuggled under the sheets, clutching it close, breathing in the mixed scent of him and Ohno. The memories of the kiss returned. But in this alteration, the safety of his room, he’d fantasize about returning the kiss. There’d be no need to hold him down. He’d have his hands in those strands of hair he wanted to touch; his hands roaming over his clothed body. He’d still be against the wall, but it would be different. Ohno would claim his mouth and he would offer everything Ohno would want to take. The feeling, this heat between them, the warmth in that sweet kiss and they played tag with their tongues. Jun moaned softly into the shirt. That longing was tangible now. He wanted it so badly. 

He moved to lie on his back, letting the shirt cover his face; the scent of Ohno enveloped him. He let his hands slid down his naked torso; so slow until he reached the waistband on his slacks, moved them up again; dreaming it was Ohno treating his skin to this. Dreaming that he would be here with him, or watch him. His flesh underneath his hands felt warm, feeling warmer, rubbing them against his nipples. He’d fantasize about Ohno taking them inside his hot mouth, tease them with his teeth, or nails as Jun did now. He scratched them down again, the slight pain burning, but feeling so good. Sweat was making his hands hitch, making his skin sensitive to his own touches. He could easily imagine the feel of Ohno’s lips and tongue in the space between his neck all the way up to his ear. He could hear the soft encouraging. Jun moaned again as his let the tips of his fingers treat the skin there imagining Ohno’s ministrations. His scent surrounded him. 

He should stop, a voice argued in the back of his mind  
 _Shut up!_ he countered, moving his hands lower to his waistband, freeing his forming erection. He’d never gone this far, the voice reasoned, what did he think he was doing? Was this even healthy? But Jun moaned in response as his fingers traced the length of his hardening flesh. It felt good, dreaming of Ohno’s hands there. Dreaming he’d be with him. As his one hand gripped stronger and moved in an aching slow pace, Jun slid the other up again, pinching, caressing. He couldn’t stop from fantasizing how it would be; his legs around Ohno’s hips, drawing him closer. He was feeling hot, in need, restless. Pulling his legs up as if the object of his desire was really on top of him, he did something he’s never even considered; touching himself from behind. Because that’s what it would be like.

The sensation had him baffled as his body contracted and he came without as much friction as he would normally need, pretending, fantasizing Ohno would penetrate him there. His back arched as he came in his hand, staining the bedding. His breath was frantic, his mind blank for a moment. His heart had an out of body experience by the feel of the painful fast throbbing. But his finger still slightly pressed in was there, spurring him on into moving. It felt horrible. It didn’t feel that good after all, but if Ohno would like it…

He would bare it. So he moved his finger just slightly. He could hear Ohno’s voice telling him to relax - how was he supposed to relax through this? - telling him he was doing good, feeling great. How tight he was. He could imagine all of those words even if they were never spoken. He was getting hard again, so sensitive - almost painfully so. Was there something like recovery time? He pulled in and out, not brave enough to add more than one. How was Ohno even going to fit in there. But the image of him pressing inside and he moved his finger in had him loudly moaning his name. God, was that what he would sound like? 

Wait, was the balcony door open? His heart leaped in distress. Jun told himself to shut up. Ohno would hear his moaning, the voice argued.  
 _Let him._ Another moan followed that. He couldn’t care less right now, pumping himself to another climax. Heels in the mattress bracing himself for release. Another load coated the inside of the covers, leaving him spend, with still the scent of Ohno lingering around him. But it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t here.

Jun lay there panting for a moment, daring only another moment later to check the door to the balcony - closed. Thank goodness. Still, there was a sliver of disappointment. He might didn’t dare breathe a word to Ohno, but this could have been a confession in it’s own right. And he didn’t hear a single thing of it. And he was alone again.   
_But sleep would come soon._ he told himself as he waited to be swept away.

Three hours later he was still awake, his mind spinning, tears shed from so many thoughts he’d lost track of time, of reason. Jun had curled up holding on to his shirt as if it was a lifeline, the only thing keeping him from losing it all together.


	3. Good advise always backfires

He was met by the morning realizing something was amiss when he first opened his eyes to the streaming sunlight.  
_Oh, no! What time is it?_ followed by a loud groan as he realised he was already two hours late for work. He slept right through his alarm clock and the alarm on his phone. Talking about his phone, he reached out to the nightstand and watched as he counted 6 missed calls from the office.  
_Oh hell!_

“Mura publishing. How may I help you?”  
“Good morning. This is Matsumoto Jun calling for Sakurai Sho.”  
“I’ll see if he’s available, please hold.”

Jun sighed. He had no clue how to explain he overslept. Sakurai Sho was their department manager. Jun reported directly to him if he was either on schedule or missing the deadlines. He was solid, but kind of a slave driver. Jun couldn’t even remember the guy was late ever in the past eleven years he had worked for the publishing company.

“Sakurai here.”  
“Good morning -”  
“Finally! Where have you been? Are you okay?”  
“Eh-?”  
“You’re not?”  
“Well, I am, but -”  
“Why aren’t you here?”  
“I overslept. I’m -”  
“When can you get here? Can’t you see I’m on the phone? Go do something useful!”  
“I guess in half an hour.”  
“Are you presentable in half an hour? We’re meeting the board this afternoon, in case you’ve forgotten.”  
“An hour tops, then?”  
“Are you asking me a question or telling me you need an hour?”  
“I need an hour.”  
“Good! Oh, and Matsumoto-san?”  
“Yes, sir?”  
“Get your ass in here! You’re late!”

Jun stared at the phone as it was promptly disconnected by his boss after the last statement. He frowned, feeling sluggish before spurring into action. He felt dreadful, not only for running late but forgetting about the meeting. Gosh, was Sakurai always this lenient?

Jun went through the motions of showering, brushing his teeth, making coffee and at least stripping as much linnen of the bed as he could and put them in the wash bin. He made a mention note not to forget to run the washing machine when he got home. After dumping them in the bin he stared at them for a minute. Is this what it had come to? Him jerking off to someone he hardly knew? He sighed to himself. Surely there were better ways coping with this then doing such a thing again tonight.

He paused his train of thought for a moment. Was he really considering doing that again? He didn’t have the luxury nor the time to dwell on such trivial matters. He needed to get going before Sakurai-san would fire his ass! 

*

“Morning,” Jun mumbled as he entered his department a bit on the nervous side. In the ride towards work he’d thought up every doom scenario his mind could come up with, with the result of nearly believing he was going to be sacked at the end of the day.  
“About freaking time! Gather your stuff! Let’s go!”  
_Oh, he’s really mad!_ Jun’s mind panicked at the tone of voice Sakurai spoke with; unyielding and resentful, _How am I supposed to fix this?_  
“Sakurai-san,” Jun began as his boss walked past him with a neat pile of orders, reports and handouts.  
“Spare me the niceties, Matsumoto-san! Move your ass to the boardroom!” Jun sighed. He was so going to get fired. 

The meeting was hectic as usual. There was yelling and arguing about a number of copies of each book and the compilation magazines, about sponsoring so-called first-time-writers, about the deadlines and visitations of authors to get them back on track. In all it was exhausting. But if anything Jun loved his job and arguing was what he did best if he knew what he was up against. Nearly two hours laters the pair left the office, to head back to their little hide out in the back of their publishing area.

“That wasn’t so bad. Even when you’re late you deliver.”  
The comment was so out of the blue Jun didn’t know how to react to it. Was his boss complimenting him? “But just so you know, there is no excuse for being late. You’re working overtime tonight.” Right, there was the boss he knew. Jun nodded in compliance, already making notes to call a take-out delivery service. Working over time, usually meant pulling an all-nighter.

Jun sat at his desk, sorting through the files, making a start to finish up the mock outlay for the coming issue, reminding his writers of the deadlines and to contact him if they ran into trouble producing what they were paid for. Time trickled by fast. And it was nice to forget for a while what had his mind so preoccupied. Every little speck of free time was laced with the memory of kisses received, or the lingering memory of what he had done last night.  
_Really, it’s no big deal,_ he argued with himself, _People do this all the time._  
You’re not ‘people’, Jun. You’re you. You don’t like guys. 

“Jun-kun, can you take a look at this for me?”  
Aiba drew him out of his thoughts. Jun blinked a few times before giving in, taking the hand out that Aiba was offering him.  
“Are you alright?” Aiba had entered their company just recently, voluntarily transferred - as he called it, which meant he was either kick out, replaced or fired from his other company - and now he was here to give them more work. So yeah, he might not be good yet at what they did - which was making erotic storylines into erotic manga - Aiba had great potential. And he was cheery, easy-going, and really tried his best - usually staying until everyone else had gone home.

And he was perceptive.  
“Yeah, I’m fine, Aiba-san. What can I help you with?” Aiba watched him a little longer before rolling his seat to Jun and leaved through the storyboard to show him what he thought was wrong with it. “There’s too much text here; the tempo is off too because of that. It’s like the author is trying too hard to create something that isn’t there yet. And here - here the characters are roaming about, and here,” Aiba pointed two pages further, “it’s still not working. I don't even know what the author is trying to tell us. Tell me I’m right, Jun-kun.” His eyes lit up. Jun took his red pen and clicked the end a couple of times as he read through the pages Aiba had indicated that were at fault. He made some correction on top of the ones already made by Aiba.  
“See if this works for the author. If not, you give them a call and demand they do it that way or they will not get published.”

Aiba skipped away as he held the newly edited pages like they were the best thing ever.  
“Aiba-san. Your chair!” The new editor in training smirked as he hastened back. Jun rolled his eyes at the smirk cast on him. It was beginning to seem it was impossible to be even the littlest of annoyed at him. Jun caught a hold of the clock ticking onto a quarter past eight. Soon people would clear out. Meaning he'd be on his own. He rather preferred the company of Aiba over the solitude that awaited him after ten o'clock  
“Sorry, Jun-kun! I’ll get on it right away.”  
“See that you do.” 

Jun stretched as he found himself into the little kitchen a little later. He needed coffee, badly. Usually, the intern did the coffee run but seeing as it was now past nine he had already left for the night. There were only the 6 six of them now. The rest had already gone home. Just the six of their editorial department which consisted of nearly 50 people.  
“Oh, Matsumoto-san. Good evening. Still at work?” Jun smiled at the woman who was reaching for some of the cups in the cupboard that hung over the sink. She was married, good-natured - and quite pregnant. Her growing baby was really in the way of her reaching for the china.  
“Misa-chan, let me do that!” Jun straightened at the sound of Sakurai’s voice, while Tanaka Misa rolled her eyes at his boss.  
“I’m pregnant, Sho-san, not cripple nor an invalid.”  
“I wasn’t trying to imply you were,” Sakurai said, placing the cups on the counter. His tone was friendly and warm, “How many do you need?”  
“Just five, thank you, Sho-san. I've made a fresh pot of coffee. I hope there’s enough left for your little group.”  
“If there’s just enough for me and Matsumoto-san here, we’ll be grateful to you. At times like these, it’s every man for himself, ne, Jun-kun?” His boss grinned at Jun, and for the life of him, Jun still didn’t know what was going on or how he was supposed to react.  
“Right then, Let’s pour you guys coffee first. I’ll take the rest with me.”  
“Let me,” offered Sakurai again. Misa’s smile softened as she watched him pour two cups. Jun frowned at the both of them. Sakurai-san seemed to be getting really along with this married lady.  
“Don’t go home too late, Sho-san,” she said as a greeting as she walked away with a tray of coffee and cups. Sakurai just nodded, even though Jun knew he was staying until the latest possible moment.

“So, you mind telling me why you were late this morning?” Jun looked up at that.  
_Eh?_ Now his boss asked? Really? Jun shrugged.  
“I apologize,” he replied with a little bow, “I just overslept. I didn’t hear any alarms. I didn’t even hear the phone ring. I really am sorry for the inconvenience.”  
“Yeah, yeah. So you had a rough night, I take it.”

Jun shrugged again. “I just couldn’t get to sleep for some reason.”  
“Girl reasons?” Sakurai asked sly smile adorning his full lips. That shape of his eyes, the gentle expression within them. Yeah, he was good looking, Jun thought. About his height, slim build. But he wasn’t Ohno.  
_Oh, come on._ Jun chastised himself.  
“I’m sorry,” Jun responded, not wanting to even discuss that, taking his coffee to go.  
“Matsumoto-san. I’m not trying to pry. In the past seven years you haven’t been sick, haven’t really taken any personal days off. And believe me I know you are never late. As your boss, I’m concerned. There is something on your mind, and it’s been there for a while. If there is anything I can help you with, just tell me. Because it does affect your work if you are running late and can’t sleep. We both know this is not an easy job, with manageable hour and it takes a toll on every part of our lives. So again, if I can offer assistance, please tell me.”

Confide in his boss? That wasn’t smart, was it. And if he wanted to, what would he say? I kissed a guy and I think I like it?  
“So there is something,” Sho told him matter of factly.  
“My girlfriend broke up with me. She couldn’t handle my… I mean, she left because of my…”  
“Your work. You can say it.” Jun wasn’t too sure. He was, in fact, insulting his place of work, wasn’t he? “So what aspect could she handle? The erotic stuff?”  
“The hours.”  
“Ah, the ‘you’re never home when I need you’ or the ‘you’re always canceling our appointments’... Yeah, that sucks, Jun-kun. I’m truly sorry to hear it. Were you together long?”  
“About ten years, give or take a few months,” Jun mumble to the sincerity of Sakurai’s words.  
“That sucks even more. Do you need personal time? There’s not much I can give you, however, a day probably max.” His boss looked like he was already thinking about a way to realise Jun’s day off.  
“That’s not necessary. The breakup happened a month ago. So, I’m good. Really, I am.” His boss didn't look convinced.  
“That settles it, then. No, all-nighter for us! Let’s go drinking instead!”

Jun was startled by the sudden drinking request - or command. And if he wondered if he should pay for it all, he was shocked to find that Sho opened a tap like it was nothing at the bar not too far off from their work.  
And now eight beers down the line, Jun lost track of what he was even saying, pouring sake on top of the beer not caring how it would affect him later on.  
“So, why don’t you just tell him,” Sakurai’s words drifted around him as he later his head in his hands. A moment later he lay them on the table and rested his chin on them.  
“Tell who what, Sho-chan?”  
“That you are interested.”  
“I can’t tell him that! What if I lose interest?” Long shot, but it could happen.  
“I don’t think you will, but if that were to happen, tell him that too.”  
“Who?”  
“Your neighbour.”  
_Huh?_  
“How do you know about my neighbour?”  
“You just told me.”  
“No, I didn’t.” Jun shook his head. He wasn’t a terrible drunk. He wasn’t into forgetting stuff when he drank.  
“Did you even remember to eat?” his boss inquired, but Jun couldn’t say. “Do you know what you should do if you don’t want to talk to him? Just ring his doorbell. And when he opens, don’t think. Just kiss him. That would get the point across.”  
“That’s silly. You don’t go just kissing random people.”  
“He does.” How do you know, but Jun kind of knew the answer. He swore not to drink with his boss again, but he’d probably just forget come morning.  
“He does,” Jun agreed, nodding on his arms.  
“Come on, Jun. What do you have to lose? Can’t be worse off than you are now.”  
“What’s which you and Misa-chan? Isn’t she married?” Jun skipped to a totally different subject.  
“Misa-chan has divorced, actually.”  
Oh, Jun thought as a new thought crept up. “Aren’t you weirded out by me?”  
“What for? Oh, you mean your infatuation with your neighbour? Nah. Hey, if we want to go home tonight, we better head for the station.”

Jun rode the last train home. It was late. But as he strolled up to his apartment he thought about Sakurai’s advise. It would be smart to wait until he was sober. Jun nodded to himself. He opened his own door and threw his working bag into his hallway. He headed over to Ohno’s taking a deep breath. That was not smart. That was so not smart. But before he could stop himself he rang the doorbell. His heart was pounding so badly, palms clammy.  
_Oh, god, are we doing this? Really? Are you sure?_  
_Breathe, Jun._

He held his eyes closed for a moment, hearing the shuffle from inside. The door unlocked. Jun was too scared to look up as the door opened. He just took his chance and leaped onto his neighbour. Kissing him. But right away something felt off. The lips were different, the scent was different - feminine. Jun opened his eyes and stared at an equally shocked pair, full of horror and disbelief.

“Wow,” she said, as Jun pushed her away from him, back into his neighbour’s house. “You're Jun-kun, right?” she guessed out of the blue. But Jun wasn’t listening. His mind, racing frantically, trying to make sense of what was happening right now. Trying to make sense of this woman inside his neighbour’s house. Who was she, why was she here? He stumbled backwards, mumbling an apology, and fleeing into the safety of his own apartment as fast as he could manage. He fell as he tripped over his shoes and landed awkwardly on his floor.  
_Who the heck was that? Oh my gosh, what had he done now? Seriously!_  
There was a knock on his door. But Jun scurried away in full shocked, running into his bedroom slamming the door shut, hiding underneath the covers which still had to be washed.


	4. Dance Practice

The washing machine was running; it’s monotone sound nearly lulled Jun to sleep, but he mind wouldn’t let him. Leaning with his back against his bed, he watched the turning of the wash inside the washing machine in his bathroom. He felt worse and more exhausted than working through the night. His mind preoccupied with the disastrous kiss he’d given to someone he didn’t even knew existed before he pressed his foolish lips on her. He figured she must have been either family or Ohno’s girlfriend. If this was his girlfriend he’d be in a whole new world of trouble. 

Hiding underneath the covers of his bed… What was he; five years old? Jun sighed.   
_You’re a coward._ And this time he didn’t even try to counter that fact. He still expected her to knock on his door. Ohno would surely be angry with him. And even if she’d turn out to be family, Ohno had every right to call him out on his actions.

_She knows your name. That’s something, right?_  
Shut up, it doesn’t mean anything. I’m just his stupid neighbour. Who just kissed his girlfriend. _Oh, lord, what a mess._ Jun rubbed his face in tiredness and frustration. He’d decided on killing his boss. Stupid advice. He was stupid for following it. He should’ve listened to his gut feeling. Why did he even think it would work? Jun groan in frustration, leaning forwards hiding his face in his hands. Was there no end to this nightmare?

Maybe he should hop over and properly apologise. He was sane enough to be aware of the fact that the whole thing must have been shocking for her too. Why did she say his name, even? How did she know him, anyway? He didn’t know the answer to that but it was driving him nuts. 

As soon as the machine was done with his laundry he would take action. And with 'action' he meant sneaking past Ohno’s apartment and running outside to the safe haven of the train station. There might not be any trains at this hour, but there probably was a taxi he could take to work. To not be home was better than anything else, right now. 

The cab took him downtown. The weather changed from being dry and pleasant to cold and rainy. The drops accumulated on the window. Just because he wasn’t miserable enough already. As it was nearly half-past one in the morning, he used his keycard to open the outer doors and walk up to the desk. The man smiled rather chipper at him.  
“Matsumoto-san. Back again? Did you forget something?” Jun smiled but he was pretty sure it didn’t amount to much.  
“No, there’s some work that needs to be done. So I came back to do it. Is that a problem?”  
“No, not at all. Please, sign in. Here and here.” The man gave him a form on which several other names were written. He wasn’t really looking for any particular names, but he saw both Aiba’s and Sho’s names on there.  
“Is my whole team up there or something?” Jun muttered as he was handed another clearance key to unlock the department doors.  
“I don’t think so.” The man skimmed the papers. “Sakurai-san came back here around eleven. And Aiba-san never left for the night. I guess there really is work to be done.”  
“I guess so.”

Of all the things he thought he could expect, seeing them dance in the middle of the room was not one that had crossed Jun’s mind. The slow music on the background build as his boss lead - rather clumsily - one Aiba Masaki across the floor. Jun noticed some of the tables were askew. He sat his bag quietly down and sat at his desk still unnoticed watching them. It didn’t take him long to figure out that it was Aiba who was giving his boss pointers on stance and movement. 

But instead of dreaming the night away with that happy couple, really Jun came to work. Of course, he would use this moment to get back at his boss for his insane suggestion about the kissing he had done tonight. Frustration bottled up again. He couldn’t even remember if he had been this weirded out during his relationship, or the time before they were dating? How come this was what his mind had reduced him to?

His eyes drifted to the men on the floor. Both had blushes on their cheeks. Aiba more of the fun he was having teasing their boss, Sho-san more from the exertion.  
“You’re not the girl, Sho-chan. You start with your left in this one. You need to lead me. Here. Hold tight. I’ll count us off again. One, and two, and…”  
Even if three wasn’t called they moved on its count. Jun had no idea what kind of dance they were doing. He loved dancing, but more in the privacy of his own home - or when drunk; then nothing really mattered. But beyond that, he knew next to nothing. Aiba seemed to know what he was doing though. And Sho seemingly improved somewhat if Aiba’s praise was anything to go by. At least he didn’t the cheesy stuff like ‘look in my eyes’ or ‘breathe’ or ‘don’t count so obviously’. They looked actually nice together, Aiba being the slightly taller, thinner one. 

“Oh! Hey, Jun-kun!”  
“What?” Sho looked dumbfounded at Aiba’s observation and wave towards his co-worker. Jun felt his cheeks redden.   
_Embarrassed much?_ “Good evening Aiba-san, Sakurai-san. I’m sorry for intruding. I just wanted to get some work done.” He kept bowing as he sat at his desk, lowering his head.  
“Why are you here? There is no work- Hold on. What happened?” His boss raised his eyebrows in anticipation. Aiba looked from one to the other and took a seat leaning against Jun’s desk. He looked like he was expecting something good.

“Nothing happened,” Jun replied. Like hell he was going to talk about it in front of Aiba. It was bad enough he had told the whole thing to his boss.   
_What if Aiba already knows? Oh, god, no. Please, don’t let him know._ Jun didn’t know what kind of face he made, but Sho asked Aiba to get them all some coffee.  
“You’re rather sober, Matsumoto-san,” he boss began as Aiba had shrugged to give them the requested privacy. Jun followed Aiba with his eyes. “Don’t worry. We ran out of coffee, so he will have to brew us a new pot.”  
“I’d rather not-”  
“Out with it. I’m going to assume your kiss didn’t have the desired effect.”  
“Oh, it had effect, alright.” Sakurai frowned.  
“So it was a good experience? Then why-”  
“I kissed my neighbour’s girlfriend. Or whoever she is. I kissed a total random stranger! And that’s all your fault!”  
“Wait, what? How is this my - Wait, back up a moment. How do you even end up kissing some girl?”

Jun sighed and gave an account to what had happened. It felt good to confide, but he felt weirded out because in the end, Sho-san was his boss - the one with the power to fire his ass.  
“What’s going on with the dancing? Weren’t you interested in Tanaka-san a few hours ago?” Sho had at least the decency to fluster.  
“Since you shared your story, I’ll share be bit of mine. Yes, I am very much interested in Misa-chan. She invited me to some ball. Can you believe they still actually them? Anyway. I don’t know anything about ballroom dancing. Do you?” Jun shook his head. “I didn’t think so. But in order to at least impress her a little, I wanted to take dance classes. Aiba-san saw the flyer on my desk - and he’s been kind enough to help me.”  
“He looks like someone who knows what he’s doing.”  
“I hope so, else I’d make a total fool of myself.”

“So, Tanaka-san, huh? How long has that been going on?” Jun paused a little. “Don’t tell me the kid is yours?” Jun hadn’t even thought of that possibility. Sho grinned.  
“No, but I’m hoping in time it will be. Being a dad is more than just being a sperm donor.”  
“Who’s donating sperm?” Aiba smirked at the two as he put the coffee down for them, winking evil like at them insinuating everything they probably didn’t mean.  
“Of course! That’s the moment you enter a room, Aiba-san,” Sho mockingly said, while Aiba feigned his innocence, batting his eyelashes.   
“Can’t help it. It’s a special talent. And that doesn’t answer my question, though,” Aiba teased back over the brim of his cup before taking a sip.

Even though they were lenient on their breaks now that it was just the three of them, they managed to get a lot of work done quite efficiently. The mock-up was done, the plans for the printing department finalised - all that as missing were a few pages that they still needed to get from their writers, but calling them at point-less o’clock wasn’t really an option unless they were pushing a deadline. So they worked on the layout of the novels to be featured in the magazine, send emails to their group of writers and some even promptly responded.

Aiba had declined to option to go home. Sho even offered to drive him since trains weren’t running. Jun couldn’t help but admire Aiba’s group spirit and wondered if this was the guy’s natural doing. He mostly started to wonder why his previous company had let him go. 

Morning broke, and against the early afternoon, Jun could hardly stay awake. But leaving before Sho was not an option Jun considered as he lay his head down for a moment. He blacked out for a while. His vision turned to his house where he was cooking, smiling. He felt good and quite himself. Then the vision turned inside the room, showing Ohno waiting at the set dinner table. He looked radiant as he talked about something Jun couldn’t understand.

“Matsumoto-san,” Jun smiled at the sound of his name, not being Ohno’s voice.   
“Matsumoto-san, wake up. We’re going home!” Jun blinked, the dream fading all too fast. He blinked a few times, seeing Aiba turn up in his eyesight. His voice was sweet and soft, his smile caring. “Come on. I’ll give you a lift home.”  
“We can’t leave before the boss-man,” Jun said sitting up slowly, rubbing his eyes.  
“Sure you can,” his boss said from his seat, “Since I insist on it. Go home, Matsumoto-san. You too, Aiba-kun. Get some rest.”

Belatedly Jun recalled calling Sho ‘Boss-man’, but the other didn’t respond to it. If he had, Jun totally missed it.   
“Let’s go, Jun-san,” Aiba said, lifting Jun to a standing, “Bossman’s orders.”  
“Oh gosh, don’t repeat that!” Aiba smirked secretive, taking Jun’s wrist and dragging him away. Jun shook him loose and grabbed his stuff to follow Aiba who was waiting for him.  
“Are you even able to drive? I feel so tired, I couldn’t right now if I tried.”  
“I’m fine. Don’t worry. You’ll be home before you know it - and in one piece. I promise.”

The care ride was lulling Jun into another sleep from which he woke up when they entered his neighbourhood. He frowned.  
“I called the office for your address, hope you don’t mind. You fell asleep before you gave it.”  
“You could’ve woken me up.”  
“Nah, you were sleeping so peacefully. Anyway, we’re nearly there.”

“Hey, Aiba-san, can I ask you something that’s totally none of my business?” the driver lifted his eyebrow; there appeared a smirk on his mouth. He leaned a little closer.   
“If we are getting personal, you might as well call me Masaki, then.” Jun was stunned. The smirk turned to a gentle smile, his eyes looked rather hopeful on the verge of bagging.  
“Masaki-san,” Jun said tentative.  
“Yes, Jun-kun?” Jun was at a loss for words for a moment as he considered how beautiful his name sounded.  
“Why were you let go at your old company? I mean,” Jun hastened to come up with a reason for his inquiry, “you can work, you put in all the hours required. You’re professional and you offer dance lessons to our boss. So, I can’t figure out why you were let go.”

“I fell for someone I shouldn’t have,” came Aiba’s answer as he parked the car in front of Jun’s building. He looked sad, making Jun feel guilty for asking. Aiba smiled then, facing Jun, while his hands were on the wheel still.  
“How're things with your neighbour?” The question came so out of left field it was shocking.  
“How do you know? Did Sho-san tell you?” to which Aiba looked shocked as well.  
“I overheard you two talking. Sakurai-kun would never tell me such things. I’m sorry if I asked something I shouldn’t have.” Jun sighed.  
“You want some coffee, Masaki-san? We can trade secrets. Maybe you should stay and sleep for a while. I have a spare futon you can use.”   
_Are you serious? Why do you say such a thing? You don’t know the first thing about-_  
“I’d love some coffee.”

On the way to the lifts of his building, Jun filled in the blanks of his situation with his neighbour. He didn’t know if he was doing the right thing, but as it was driving him nuts it did feel good to just talk about it - perhaps even better because Aiba Masaki was on ‘his level’ meaning not his boss with the power to sack his ass.

“Tricky,” Aiba replied thinking about it, “Isn’t the best action to just talk to both of them? You need to man up somewhere.”  
“But that’s the scary part. I don’t know what they’ll do.” Jun sighed sadly. “How about you, then? You said you fell for someone you shouldn’t have. And since you’re here that didn’t end well. What happened?” They got into the lift and Jun pressed his floor.

“I fell for a co-worker. A collegue.” Aiba smiled absentmindedly staring into the depth of the memory. “I broke up their relationship - which was not my intent at all. We were just working together a lot. ‘The golden team’ because we got shit done. We had fun and somewhere in all of that I realised I was - had to be - in love. And I confessed - clumsily at an office party last summer. Somehow their partner found out. She was working for the board of directors, so high up the company, it was impossible for me to work in publishing ever again. I lost everything. My former boss contacted Sakurai-san and asked to take me in as a personal favour. And here I am.” He looked at Jun now. The sadness he was displaying gone, a new found energy returning.

“You fell for a guy?” Jun dumbfounded asked. Aiba nodded, kind of proudly. “I tend to fall for character, instead of gender. I don’t know why; it just is.” Jun opened his mouth to say something but closed it again as he could think of what to reply to that. Aiba was so very open about his preference that he was kind of blown away - they didn’t even know each other.

Aiba closed the distance making Jun jolt out of his pondering and back up.  
“Jun-kun,” Aiba said in a low tone, “Why don’t you just do this the next time you see your neighbour? Just like this.” Aiba placed his hands on the wall of the lift next to his head. “Lean in and never break eye contact. Do you know how hot and sexy that is? Eye contact makes it so much better! And when you have their full attention you'll say..” The lift doors swung open. “Kiss me.”

There was a sound of someone scraping the back of their throat. Aiba let go and they both stared at a woman who looked embarrassed to have witnessed that. Jun felt mortified as he recognised her as the one he’d kissed last night.  
 _Oh god, can this get any worse?_


	5. Caught

Aiba greeted her, with a silly smile, an apology as he dragged a mortified Jun out of the lift. Aiba waited for the lift doors to close to take a look at Jun who walked away being all dramatic about something he had obviously missed.  
“Wait-” Aiba said.  
“That was her! Oh my god, is there no end to this nightmare!?” Jun looked up to the heavens - or rather the ceiling of his floor - and dragged his hands through the strands of his hair before noticing the small vase with a flower in it and a letter underneath it.

“Oh, secret admirer?” Aiba said, smelling the flower. Jun opened the door to let his guest in. After changing into house slippers he threw his keys into a bowl and headed to the kitchen to make coffee. He opened the letter at the kitchen counter and Aiba waited patiently, hoping to be let in on what it said.

_Matsumoto-san,_

_Please rest at ease about what happened between us._  
_It was just an incident - from which I take that you are interested in my brother._  
_That makes me happy. But just to be clear on something. I am planning on telling him about what happened. I don’t keep secrets from him._  
_Please, take good care of him, Matsumoto-san. I’m counting on you._

It was signed as Ohno’s sister. Aiba had given up on waiting and read over his shoulder.  
“His sister is still better than his girlfriend,” Aiba mused. But Jun wasn’t so calm.  
“She wrote this before she caught us in the lift, Aiba-san!” The panic was laced in his voice. “There’s no telling what she will say now!” Aiba looked equally stunned, before darting out of his house. Jun ran after him, just to see him disappear into the staircase house.  
_what was he - Oh no. He wasn’t really, was he?_ Jun swallowed despairing. Aiba had run off to see if he could catch up with his neighbour’s sister. But what would he tell her? Aiba didn’t even know everything. _Oh god._

Jun returned inside. His head couldn’t handle any of it right now. He was contemplating moving. Jun sighed dragging his ass to bed. He let himself fall onto his back and stare at the ceiling. Sure enough, the frustration broke into tears, and he couldn’t help smirking at the same time. Because this was ridiculous. He didn’t even know if he was in love with the guy, or if this was something passing. Why would he care so much about this? 

Jun rolled himself in his bedding, curled up, wishing he’d have thing akin to a stuffed animal to hug right now. He passed out after a while of thinking, over-thinking, panicking and losing his mind on occasion. No dreams, no nightmares, just full blissful sleep. Deeper than any he’d had for the past few days.

He awoke to the twilight that settled in his bedroom. The day had been warm and Jun got up to open the balcony doors to let in some fresh air. He sighed with all the weight he carried upon his shoulders, sitting down on his bed again, taking his phone. Before he realised he was talking to the receptionist who connected him to the head if his department.

“Sakurai Sho, here.”  
“Sakurai-san,” god, what was he supposed to say even.  
“Matsumoto-san. What can I do for you? Are you alright?”  
“Yeah. What are you still doing at work?” Jun took a look at the time and realised Sho was still there.  
“Working. I am the boss, after all.” He could hear some humour in that voice and it made him smile a little bit.  
“Sakurai-san, did you mean it when I got take some time off?”  
“What happened?” He could here Sho moving - the background noise was quieting until it was nonexistent.  
“Nothing happened.”  
“Liar. Spill it, Jun-kun.” Jun-kun? What was happening to his profession relationships with his boss and co-worker? But Jun sighed, stopping the train of thought, giving a countenance of the ordeal with Aiba and how he ran after Ohno’s sister. That received a chuckle from his boss.  
“I just need to time, right now. I really don’t know what to do.” He sighed again. “Sho-san,” he began, “I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t necessary.”  
“I know that. At this time I can’t promise anything. I can give you the morning off. I know more if it can be a full day or two tomorrow. With the option of you hauling your ass back to work if need be.”  
“Goes without saying,” Jun breathed a bit relieved.  
“I’ll give you a call tomorrow morning.”

It felt weird. The realisation that there was a full day of work and he wouldn’t come in - at least not in the morning. Of course, he would have to make up for it in the end, but right now - he could do with some down time. Even if he was well aware that his thoughts were different last night. His stomach growled and hunger pulled him toward the kitchen. There wasn’t much to eat as he had forgotten to go on his usual day. So he would go to the supermarket and buy a bento or such, maybe milk and eggs for an omelet. But as he still wore the clothes he’d slept in, he couldn’t just leave the house like that. He put the jacket on a hanger into the hanger, put the trousers and shirt into the machine, added some other clothes and sat it to wash. Jun changed into casual loose fitted jeans with an old t-shirt that depicted a naughty cat dipping his paw into a fishbowl.

Jun snug past Ohno’s door. And pressed the button of the lift a few times, while glancing to the staircase. _This is nuts! Will you stop falling apart over this? What’s the worst that can happen?_ Jun envisioned an angry looking neighbour, pushing him down the elevator chute when the doors would finally open. _Really?_ his inner voice chastised him. The doors opened as Jun told that voice to put a sock in it. 

The supermarket wasn’t as abandoned as Jun had thought this evening. There were quite a few people still buying groceries. Jun sought his way, collection his eggs, milk and some vegetables as he went when he suddenly froze into place: Ohno.

Jun’s heart started pounding with an alarming rate that caused his body to sweat and panic. The right thing, here, Jun thought, was to walk up to him and offer his sincerest apology. That’s what a man would do, right? _Just go already!_ Are you nuts the man might kill me where I stand. _You kissed his sister thinking it was him. We are not living in some backward society that would warrant your imminent death over an honest mistake!_ But, Jun argued, it was better to wait. He waited until he saw Ohno purchase his goods and left the shop. Jun breathed - relieved and agitated for not stepping up. Seriously, what was wrong with him? He looked at the bento selection and took as much time as he felt was enough. But with his luck, Ohno would be waiting around the corner. That somehow spike a jolt of pleasurable shock of dread within him.

But as Jun rounded to corner after his purchase there was no Ohno and he felt kind of disappointed. The entire way to his building he kept actually hoping for it to happen. But as he neared the building, that excitement took a turn. And instead of taking the lift, he opted for the stairs. That way when he reached his floor, he would see if perhaps Ohno was waiting for him with a baseball bat or something. The voice in his mind rolled its eyes at him.

Jun raced to his door, fidgeted with the keys and felt his heart pumping so loud and hard if made the blood gush in his ears. Once inside he breathed a sigh of relieve.  
_This has to stop, Jun. You’re driving us all crazy!_  
Jun went through the motions of eating the bento, watching some lame show on his tv, drinking milk. After that, he went to see if his laundry was ready to be hung. Since it was great weather outside still, he opted to hang it out on the balcony. He opened the door a little further but didn’t see his neighbour. 

Jun hung his laundry, the aromatic smell of his fabric softener filled the air. Breathe in and out, Jun told himself. In and - Holy fuck! As he turned he uncovered a half naked Ohno with eyes. He was dressed in slacks, which reach lower than any ordinary slack should be. The skin above it seems smooth and toned. Slight abs were visible as he leaned with his back against the wall of his apartment, eyes closed taking in whatever sunlight he still could get. He shouldn’t stay here. He willed his body to move, but it flat out refused.

_Oh my, will you just look at that? That guy is fit as fuck. And that’s been hitting on us, Jun! That can be ours!_ Jun let his eyes wander. From the naked chest, the tanned torso, down over his clad legs, wondering what lies underneath them, the toes peeping out and back up again. His eyes drew to the area of his crotch; he could imagine it twitch under his blatant gaze. Backup to search his skin for imperfection as moles, to dream up lavishing those under his attention, the graze those proud nipples with his hands, nails, and teeth. Suck them inside his mouth. He would kiss him, Jun though a bit bold, and hold his stare.

It took Jun a moment to realise he was actually doing that. Staring. Into Ohno’s eyes. His mind blacked out too much to shoot into a state of panic. His breath caught. His neighbour didn’t say anything, just stared back. The silence lasted. And when Jun finally broke their eye contact, wanting to go inside, Ohno stopped him with a simple, “So, you and my sister, huh?”  
“That was an accident,” Jun said immediately, shocked he would even say such a thing.  
“Are you sure? She’s quite pretty. And sweet on top of that.” Ohno had raised an eyebrow as if to mock him or call him a liar.  
“She’s not you!”  
_Oh god! Nooo, oh, you didn’t. You didn’t just say that!_ Without thinking or replying to Ohno - who stood open mouthed and perplexed - Jun made his way inside again barely sparing him a glance in his hurry. There, in the relative safety of his bedroom, he sank to his knees, hand on his heart willing it to slow down. Breath came frantic. _Holy heck, Jun…_ Jun’s mind didn’t know if it was happy or anxious. Maybe both right now. He felt nauseated, lightheaded and jumpy and freaked out of his mind. 

_But, gosh, did you see that body?_ his mind wanted to know. Of course, Jun had, what a silly question. His mind drew him a rather graphic picture of Ohno. The shape of his body, so fit and toned. Tee smooth looking skin that had Jun salivating by the remote possibility he was allowed to touch him; to run his fingers over the fine looking torso, to cover that exposed flesh with kisses and other marks of love. He wanted to, he needed to. 

As he looked down his own body it was pretty clear what state it was in. His body clearly had a mind of its own, not listening to the one that Jun possessed. He should take a cold shower, cool of. He shivered with the thought as if Jun’s own body seemed to protest that very action. His heart was still pumping so fast, but that might be from a whole different reason altogether. Without really wanting to, he tentatively palmed himself through the fabric, rubbing his hand in slow light strokes against his hardening flesh. Maybe Ohno would do this to him too, sometime. Touch him slow, just like that. Taking his time, drawing sweet needy moans from his lips that didn’t mean anything, and yet they meant everything in that particular moment. The sounds filled his bedroom. 

He stayed on his knees, letting his other hand traced the lines of his skin underneath his T-shirt. His mind came up with the fantasy of Ohno all on its own. Spurring him on as Jun closed his eyes and let go. Concentrated on his breathing and thinking he sounded kind of erotic, willing Ohno’s voice to tell him that as a warm whisper in his ear. His whole being reacted to it. From the chill of pleasure that coursed through his veins straight to the center of his desire, leaving in its wake goosebumps, making his skin sensitive to his own touch. It was so easily to imagine it would be Ohno’s hand that played and found it’s way across. The lean fingers brushing ever so slow over his clammy flesh, grazing the tips of his erect nipples.

The parts of his torso that were normally ticklish were now keen on receiving lustful touches. Each stroke sending luscious waves clouding his mind further.  
_God, this feels so good._ Jun slipped his hand inside his pants, inside his underwear, still just rubbing against his flesh, without gripping and jerking off. He imagined sitting on Ohno’s lap, feeling him close, feeling his warmth, his embrace. His mouth on his burning skin, tracing every line of his body so slow that he would or cry or both. He imagined his voice, turning darker, raspier than it normally sounded. Jun’s breathed hitched as he used both hands to play with himself, stroking now, smearing the precum, using it as lube, even though it was becoming more and more sticky quickly. The moans, not all that soft anymore, emitted with his shaky breath, sounded scandalous as he started jerking off. His other hand sought his way to finger his hole. Jun hissed, dreaming of sinking on Ohno’s rock hard cock. As he fingered, teased himself. With sticky fingers, or maybe it was the position he’s in, it was feeling a whole better. Biting his lip as he entered himself, tentative, it was the ease with which his finger went deeper than the previous time. And it didn’t even hurt all the much either. It felt exciting, new, deliciously decadent and it took Jun by surprise how much he could actually enjoy this. He pushed in and out a few times, feeling the passion accumulate, until he couldn’t bear it and came by his own hand, creaming the inside of his underwear and pants.

His breath still haphazard, Jun waited with eyes closed, the precious moments until his mind and body returned down to earth where they belonged. He needed a shower, but he didn’t dare move. Instead, he stared at the wall connecting his apartment to Ohno’s. Was this what Ohno could offer? This feeling? But then better - because it was with him? Would it be good?  
_Would it even work between you?_ his mind’s voice argued, _What if it’s only for one night?_ Oh, Jun thought - mind still a little clouded with lust - what a night that would be, though. Can you imagine? Jun could. 

Trying to get up, Jun noticed how weak his legs were from the sitting position. He stumbled a little towards to bathroom, a smile still lacing his lips. He never noticed that moment that the balcony door was still slightly ajar, nor that Ohno was still outside with a smile of his own and a hand down his slacks.


End file.
